The Cunt-ducive Diet

Disclaimer: This article uses language that is NSFW. The title alone should tell you that. I use the word, and will be using the word ‘cunt’ in this article and those that follow. Why? Because we need to reclaim the word. If you don’t like it, oh well.


Our cunts are glorious temples with delicate ecosystems. However, when we don’t take care of them, we start to have issues. Things like yeast infections, low elasticity, and dryness are common issues many women face at one time or another. All issues that are very preventable. Unfortunately, our first instinct is to run to whatever product is voted the best. These temporary solutions based in chemicals ultimately hurt our delicate ecosystems.

Here’s a thought: what you eat directly influences the behavior of your cunt. If you drink alcohol a lot, take in a large amount of sugar, and don’t drink water often, you are going to be prone to yeast infections. Our ecosystems need to be maintained by proper nutrient intake. Now, I’m not saying you need to start dieting just to make yourself pristine. These are just some foods that are more cunt-ducive to your yoni’s health and happiness. All you need to do is be a little mindful and pepper these into your diets. The list is in alphabetical order.




Vitamin A

Found in: Sweet potatoes, romaine lettuce, kale, carrots, spinach and butternut squash.

Benefits: Wall elasticity, fights infection

The science of it: Vitamin A is essential for cell renewal and repair as well as keeping skin smooth and boosting the immune system. The body uses vitamin A to seek out and and destroy bacteria that make their way into the body. Vitamin A’s role is highly defensive.

Beta-carotene is a phytochemical found in Apricots, bell peppers, papaya, and cherries for something a little sweeter. When metabolized, the body converts this into vitamin A.




Vitamin C

Found in: Bell Peppers (Red, orange, yellow), brussels sprouts, cabbage, kale, kiwi, papaya, pineapple, and strawberries.

Benefits: Neutralizes hormonal free radicals, ups stamina and sex drive, elasticity, wall strength.

The science of it: While vitamin A is defensive, Vitamin C takes the offensive, boosting the power of germ-eating cells. It is also essential to the production of collagen and elastin, components that keep skin toned and firm. Vitamin C also regenerates vitamin E in the body.





Found in: Almonds, brazil nuts, broccoli, cabbage, chard, escarole and figs.

Benefits: elasticity, premenstrual issues

The science of it: Calcium helps prevent the muscular contractions that cause cramping by calming nervous function. Getting more calcium before your period can help prevent headaches, cramping, and bloating. According to a study by the U.S. Department of Agriculture Human Nutrition Research Center in Grand Forks North Dakota, Women on a higher-calcium diet were 70% more likely to have fewer cramps, 80% felt less bloated, and 90% were less irritable and depressed. So, when you’re PMS-ing grab a handful of almonds, or a glass of your favorite kind of milk. You’ll thank yourself.




Vitamin D

Found in: Mushrooms, pasteurized eggs, sardines.

Benefits: Helps metabolize calcium, helps prevent infections

The science of it: Vitamin D is essential for calcium absorption as well as immunity, bone building and energy. It also regulates the antimicrobial defenses of our skin.





Found in: chia seeds, chickpeas, mushrooms, oysters, pecans, pumpkin seeds, quinoa, tahini

Benefits: Fertility

The science of it: Zinc helps balance progesterone and estrogen levels in women and increase sperm count and testosterone production in men. Zinc also helps metabolize calcium.

Works Cited

Hart, J. (2014). Eat Pretty, Nutrition for Beauty Inside and Out. San Fransisco, California: Chronicle Books LLC.

Yeager, S. (1998). The Doctors Book of Food Remedies. Rodale Inc.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s